I'm back bebe

puh well, what a month of travelling!!!
Hong Kong was great, 5 days of chow mein noodles and dim sum galore, mh mh :)
Hiked up to Victoria Peak, watched Typhoon roll in, visited botanic gardens and did minimal amount of shopping...

Then on to Australia! After few days in Sydney travelled down coast towards Melbourne in convertible, pigged out on more food and wine (whole trip was gourmet extravaganza), rode through bush on horseback, hopped over to Tasmania for few days where stayed in borderline creepy perfect english country style cottage, and fell in love with amazing flora and fauna! Especially the vast skies, neverending lush rolling hills, and breathtakingly beautiful beaches impressed no end...

massive trip

my work on the movie 'the tale of despereaux' is done, am officially jobless and, after moving my stuff out of the amsterdam apartment, also homeless! makes u feel like u should crack open that bottle of champagne, doesn't it ;)
so, tomorrow am off to hong kong for 5 days and then on to australia for 3 weeks, because if there was ever a good moment to travel in my life, this is it! cannot wait to visit the other side of the world and take it all in... bucket loads of dim sum, asian art and culture, go shopping crazy (thanks to the all mighty mastercard wohoo), stroke some wombats, kangaroos (if they don't punch me first) and koalas, drink large amounts of shiraz, go to the opera, do all the touristy stuff and ride thru the outback until my bum falls off. aw, it's gonna be amazing I just know it :D

see you all mid november! xx

Samurai Champloo Promo

Nat King Cole - Smile (1961)

Ode To Joy

must cheer self up ... . . .

getting anxious

no matter how often I go through this, it's terrible every time... end of project and contract is near and I am not sure what will happen after... where I'll work and live (though have preferences on where I want to be of course, would be lovely to stay in London) and just in general what will happen within the next half year or so. I know it would be good to concentrate on the now (while scouting ahead nevertheless) and I am trying to stay positive and believe it'll be alright and work out, which I manage most of the time, but today is just one of those days where everything seems so unsure and unsettling, it's driving me mad!

The 5 Browns

I miss my piano like crazy lately... what's going on.. sigh

Neverending Story: The Lost Music Video

You know how everyone has their 'watch when sick to make self feel better' movies? Well, The Neverending Story is one of my favs, so when was dying of high fever thanks to nasty kidney infection last week, watched this classic and I still think it rocks!!! 1984 old school fx, uber kitsch map paintings, synthesizer sounds, I luuuv it.

The Tale of Despereaux Trailer

Frontline

More Captain stuff

Glorious

Vega's sister got married to the leadsinger/songwriter of the band Captain last weekend, CONGRATS! Love their music, saw them live a couple of times by now and is always brilliant :)

this is me lately

Global Warming

vega and in-ah in rem vid (hard to spot but still...)

Barcelona weekend getaway

Enjoy the pics! Although we look a bit red on some of 'em, and I have got to stop posing all the time, hahaha! Had fab time and would go again in heartbeat!

my pics
vega's pics

weekend work ...

... looming deadlines ...

Orgesticulanismus

go to 4:00 to see some amazing animation!!!

SUMO

Ollie Johnston 1912-2008

A sad day for the animation world.
These posts are about life and work
of one of the true greats in animation:
cartoonbrew
jimhillmedia






-

brilliant

I know most of you can relate ;)

milestone in compositing history and the hoff

a little eyecandy for monday morning... have had fever and succumbed yet again to some form of the flu, great stuff, rock n roll...

Top Secret Drum Corps Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2006

A m a z i n g

if you believe, you can

Happy Easter *woof*!

dogBeat ** talented dog mixes a hot beat
Uploaded by akanjee

spooky stuff - new vid of the bigdog robot

St Patricks Day US Style

happy st patricks day!

YouTube weirdness

hm...
the last two posts about being blue are actually quite outdated! Had posted those a few days ago and was wondering why the 'publish to blog' button on YouTube was not really doing anything at the time! Ah well... fun vids anyway :) am feeling way less under the weather by the way. You could almost say I feel happy! Must lay off being cynical and grumpy, am not 60 yet (not that you necessarily turn grumpy with old age... or that 60 is really old... ah sod it, will just let it stand as is)- maybe I should go to one of those meditation sessions Alex goes to... might help center self and become zen and relaxed and balanced and... all the things I feel are not big traits of my character lately.

update - from feeling blue to gone crazy

feeling blue today :(

snippet

man man...

To start off with, I wake up this morning with yet again a sore throat
and weird stomach, making me wonder if there is sth like the
'eternal flu'which never fully goes away and just comes back
again
and again and again...
this made me really grumpy.
After feeling blue and a bit down for last few days
I wonder if there will be any improvement in mood soon
or if it will stick forever, like sore throat and runny nose,
and turn me into nagging, snivelling person.

After a terrible over crowded tube ride (they are always terrible) I stumble into work, spilling half of the contents of my overpriced latte all over my hand, jacket and skirt... great stuff.

After the usual routine of checking emails and opening my shot of the day, I decide to pop out to pick up my favourite flat boots from the shoemaker with new heels and the insides, that I had walked to shreds, re-stitched. This cost me a small fortune (60 euros!!!), but no matter - they look great and the repair is very well crafted so am happy...

I get back to work and want to put them on but cannot fit my foot in because the extra lining made them tighter!!! (there is no zipper, it's a slip on like sock kinda boot, very comfy) So I go back slightly limping in my high heels with my damaged foot throbbing with every step (ever since last week when I had forced my foot into a slightly too tight high heel it seems the front left part of my foot, just under the big toe, got squished too much and is hurting like crazy!
It just won't go away, quite like annoying cold, reoccurring in waves of agony).

So they put it on the stretcher, pound on it with different tools that look fit for torture rather than cobbler work, while I sit and chat with this old guy about his last visit to Munich when he was 10 (1965!!!) which was lovely.

Finally I manage to wiggle my foot in (whilst doing so I slipped and kicked myself pretty hard in the shin and then another hard blast to my already painful foot) and I leave with the promise
that whenever it feels too rigid I can come back in and they will soften/stretch it again for free...
what a day this is turning out to be!

puh... of course have not done any proper work until now,
but hey, at least the sun is shining :)

wonder what else will happen today...
have a feeling its one of those strange days
full of random experiences...

Simon's Cat 'Let Me In!'

Geek Time

Happy Valentine's Day

the sun is out today wohoo!

Le Café

great anim music clip on what happens if u drink too much coffee! I always get really hyper and my mind races at 200 mph after more than 2 cafe latte :)

Friday Blues ...

Davy Graham - Cry Me A River

UNIQLO MIXPLAY

great store with great cashmere stuff and what an amazing clip!!!

Paper Art Contest

using only one sheet of paper to produce mind blowing artwork:

hier

Human TETRIS Performance

by Guillaume Reymond

the look

Kwoon - I lived on the Moon

Animation by Yannick Puig- amazing stuff!
And as am in slightly zoned out, melancoly mood, kinda like the floaty swooshy wooshy song too ;)

have a good one ...

Merry Holidays people,
Don't take life too seriously ;)

The CMONS

what movie ... ?

chuck

David Sides

after watching 100 times or so I thought I'd post it on my blog to share with the few of you that visit from time to time.
I think this is a lovely rendition of the song and the guy has great talent! Makes me miss playing the piano...
sigh... am having the winter blues real bad lately! sigh sigh sigh

Pocoyo Puppy Love

I just love this stuff :)

How It All Ends

monday morning ....

mh, looks great!!!

Kung Fu Panda Teaser VO
Uploaded by K3vin

just to give you an idea - Cavalli st H&M

I witnessed something similar in London and decided to walk on ...
scary stuff!!!

Friday Animation

No Cavalli for me today (?)

thought it would be smart to go check at the store
on Oxford circus before work, because, surely,
I am the only one to go to H&M at 9 am?

hm...

it was insane-
a HUGE crowd of women/girls on the prowl,
ready to leap, lunge and kill,
a DJ playing Britney's new electro tunes loud and fierce...

I have never been so intimidated my whole life
so I decided that I really don't need that kind of stuff
and I'll just work hard to become rich and buy
a REAL couture Cavalli for 3 grand some day....

hm, I will go check out the shoes at lunchtime though...
and maybe grab one of the leopard print dresses
if there's still one left...
ah, and what the heck -
might as well throw on the zebra print thing too...
dah- I'm such a sucker for fashion...




--------------------------------
post lunch update
--------------------------------

it was still a madhouse at H&M at lunchtime
and the only thing left worth buying was a pair of tights...
crazy atmosphere! am still dazed... slightly traumatised...

Weather in Britain

I have to say it:
British weather is better than Dutch weather...
Believe it man! Sunshine galore (even though cold),
amazing evening and morning skies in dazzling colours,
sometimes you get the odd gusts of wind but they seem
less aggressive than the 'slice your skin of face' ones
I encountered in Amsterdam...

Often it even makes up for the stinky tube ride
I need to endure (only 15 mins anyway, and my station is
overground, so this morning e.g. I was waiting for
the tube in glistening golden morning sunlight...)
and I find myself arriving at work -hold your seats-
smiling!!! gasp! then I get my coffee, the real stuff
from Carluccio's btw, sit down, start PC (apple users: gasp!)
log in and am still ... smiling!! double gasp!
Well, and then Maya crashes and the Rigs have changed
and you need to do your animation over again,
but hey, still smilin' right?
;)

Even though I tackle all usual frustrations that come
with a film production (and at the moment there's quite a few
... cough - pipeline - cough) I am generally content,
which either is from growing older
(that big 30 only a little over a year away - ieck!)
and finding wisdom and ... stuff ... or it's just really
being able to do what I want professionally and growing
and improving and just working with amazing people,
finding amazing friends like V, who I feel like I've known forever
and connect with in a very 'best friends at school' way,
having an amazingly supportive hunky man that (still)
wants to marry me (am currently in 'wedding is cool' mode...
as opposed to last month where I was very much in
'can't breathe can't do it panic attack abandon ship must run away'
-eh- mode).

I also picked my wedding gown last week (wohoo!) and realised
that I actually quite like my figure/body (it's been a long road)
and should feel comfortable in it and with it,
which is quite an achievement for a lot of women
and I guess even for quite a few men in this
media -slash- fashion -slash-'perfect' body
(aka 'what the media dictates) type of world.
Even though I've never been 'fat' I have ALWAYS found a lot of
features I'd moan about and hate with a vengeance -
but it's become a lot less, and even though I am not very fit lately
(most excessive sport is currently going out and dancing like
a maniac) the moments that I obsess about my
bum/tummy/thighs have diminished 'beaucoup'!
Which is a very good sign, also because there are quite a few things
in life that are a liiitle more important than the dimples on my ass.

with those poetic, eloquent words I conclude my post about
the English weather and ... stuff :)

Sending you all some love xx

la la laaa la la

comical

some pics

fash mag slag party, north london, with vega





mel's party (30th birthday, production co-ordinator on despereaux)
soho, london

I love bunnies

atonement

saw this yesterday with vega,
and it's stuck in my head...
sad movie, wonderful sad, heartbreaking movie.

not that new, but a good laugh

truth?

an animator's mind ...

I LOVE this stuff!!!
It speaks to me ...

zoo pics

here are some pictures from my day at the zoo,
all taken by alex :)










P.S.: I miss you too tamara, I'll be back for a few days soon
so we can meet for coffee and catch up!

John Lounsbery Pencil test

went to zoo for some sketching this weekend after MAJOR hangover from party friday night- I will be posting some drawings and more pictures soon (promises, promises). Now that I have wireless internet working and ordered a table for my room to be able to do some serious work and posting from home ;)

great stuff :)

am out partying again this weekend ... will use some cool moves from this video to wow the crowds at the nightclub ... awesome ...

more mice!

RAPT SODA
Uploaded by akamastudio

ever since I started working on a movie with mice,
they seem to be all over the place!
this is a really sweet short with ... well, mice ...

great weekend

great weather, great shopping, great night out :)
will write more when recovered from great hang over...

me go dance

this saturday will be goin' out, wohoo! haven't been dancing in a looong time (or so it seems) - cannot wait to shake and wobble all over the dancefloor!

going green ...

It's the Happy Happy, Joy Joy Song!

Service in Britain

Well, well, you'd think it's nice, polite, a little Americanised, surely?
Ha! Not when it comes to delivery services! Man, man, man.
I was getting a big parcel delivered and went to all kinds of trouble
to have somebody at the flat to open up ...
only to get a phone call in the middle of the day to hear
that the guy just hopped out, stuck a 'you weren't home' note
through the door, and drove off!
Colleagues told me that this happens quite often
when the driver is on a tight schedule and is trying to make up
for lost time!

Aaanyway, I call them up, annoyed and grumpy,
just to be told that the redelivery will be the next day
somewhere between ... mh ... 9 am and 6 pm.
Kindly I ask for a more precise time only to get a rude
'sorry, we cannot give better estimates
of when the driver will come by!'
Right- so I position myself at the window with my book
and some coffee, imagining the driver coming up
and me giving him hell, when hour after hour passes by
and my bum gets increasingly sore from being perched on the edge
of the couch to be able to peer out of the window ...
Finally, around noon, and halfway through my book,
I see the delivery van (Amtrax) pull up in front of the building.
I rush out, keys in hand, complaints on the tip of my tongue,
arms waving wildly, a slightly crazed glint in my eyes,
adrenalin pumping and throbbing through my veins-

The driver, a young tall man with not-so-clear skin,
and quite yellowish eyeballs, steps out of the vehicle to greet me.
We shake hands and a slight whiff of onions
creeps up my nostrils ...
'the big heavy box is for you?' he asks.
All the things that I had neatly prepared in my mind,
the nifty, smart, verbal 'kick in the butt' dissolved to nothingness
when his breath unfolded its full bouquet of onions, garlic,
rotten meat ... and there was a hint of fish in there somewhere too.
I nod, trying to hold my breath without passing out or
vomiting over his blue overalls-
'right then, you need to carry it upstairs with me' he exhales.

Carry up what? ... Do what?
Surely he has some kind of equipment/wheelie thingy
to take that box (roughly 45 kg) up to the flat?
Slightly intoxicated and engulfed by his breath I nod again,
my sole wish being to escape the stench before I drop dead,
and grab onto the box that he starts to pull out of the van.
And my god it was heavy!
With trembling noodle arms I heave the thing over to the door,
into the hallway and at the bottom of the two flights of stairs
that need to be mastered.
Garlic-man then starts pulling the box towards him and up the stairs,
while I just look at him in disbelief-
'you want me to hold the bottom part (with all the freakin' weight)?'
I ask in exasperation.
Garlic-man pants, stares,
his brain working its way to comprehension at snail speed.
'aw, right, up you go then'

So up we go,
I lose half my fingers and get big chunks of dust all over me.
once done, I sign the stupid paper, usher Garlic-man out the door,
hop under the shower for a second time that morning,
and battle my way onto the bus to work
which is packed to the point of bursting
because the tube was on strike,
great stuff when you are on armpit level like me.

What a day ...

Soup ...

this was done by one of the guys that I met here
who also went to the Gobelins! Amazing stuff :)

London

Phew, finally I find a minute to write a short update!
So, arrived in London this weekend, started work on Monday,
and all is going real well- workwise...
when it comes to phonelines or mobilephones or internet,
or anything else that has to do with pretty basic services
you need to set up for your comfy life abroad,
it has been a total disaster!

Phoneline BT:
should have been reconnected on Tuesday morning,
but nada, no signal, no nothing, not even a buzz!
After struggling with the helpline and spending
literally HOURS on hold, I finally get through to someone
that can check the line only to get the information
that it is not working (!!??) which... well...
I kinda aleady knew.
Anyhow they'll be checking on it next weekend,
if you can trust their promises (am becoming very sceptic
at this point due to all the other things going wrong).

Mobilephone:
Ah- the carphone warehouse!
Knowing that Gabe's sister works at this europeanwide
company I think, -eh gotta be good, will go there
to get contract and new fancy phone-
so in I stroll all happy and excited,
again it takes HOURS until everything gets sorted,
I walk out thinking, -wohoo! New phone, new contract,
fabulouso!- But... next evening I notice that
I cannot send text messages, any call I try to make
just ends in some mysterous beeps until it dies,
it's freakin' useless!

Back to carphone warehouse I go -me phone no worky!-
and they tell me to contact my provider, as it cannot
be their fault if phone no worky... sigh.
Disgruntled I phone up yet another speedy UK helpline
where I spend the best part of the morning on hold
until a lady with a very thick irish accent
(which did not make things easier as you can imagine)
explained to me that I have SEVERAL contracts pending,
and so my request has been blocked!
Man... could they not notify me about this?
Aaaanyway, she tells me go back to carphone warehouse
(scream!) and to let them sort it out as fast as possible,
because they may need to cancel the whole thing and give
a totally new package from scratch!

Breathe in, breathe out, count to ten...

Apart from that the flatshare I am in is great so far,
and it only takes me max. 30 mins to get to work
in the morning.
And it's great being back and meeting people
I haven't seen in 2 years and catching up!
Framestore now employs 650 people (!!!),
so I hardly know anyone on the Desperaux team,
but that doesn't bother me at all, just makes it
more exciting :)

Well, that's it for now, will be heading off
on my quest to get the mobile phone working!
I miss you guys from Amsterdam,
but this weekend we might get a chance to hook up-
am back to pick some stuff up that I forgot.

paris - annecy - and back again

deadline tomorrow ...

... we all going crazy

love the sun :)

hate sitting in the room with no windows :(

friends from paris visit ...

Alex and Damien were over for the easter weekend!
We had a great time :) wonderful weather and
loads of laughs.

Gabriel makes In-Ah happy

Birthday 2006
Uploaded by in-ah

Party in Paris...

...for Damien's and Soraya's birthday!
They rented out a flat plus DJ to celebrate-
it was wonderful being in Paris for pleasure
instead of work :)



as always Raffee took a lot of pictures of the event-
here's one of when we were getting ready to party!

Change of Plans

Am back from week in London.
Let me give you the details briefly:

First day I walked through the heels of my boots on my mission to find affordable accommodation in a safe, nice part of London, which proved a lot more difficult than anticipated!
Looked at flatshares with one extremely skinny scary woman, and one with walls that had been treated with heavy chemicals against mold to which the landlady suggested I just needed to 'air' the room regularly, and I should be fine... (plus a third nipple starts sprouting on your chest after a matter of days! all that for 650 Pounds! A bargain I tell you!)

Not worried yet, because have feeling I still have loads of time...

Second day my handbag breaks, I still have no flatshare-
Although I did have a couple of appointments in nice areas, but this time I encountered enormous obese sweaty man, and broken toilets...

Slowly getting worried because have only seen crap and time seems to fly.

So I make an appointment for the next day with my future employer to see if we can push back my starting date seeing that my current employer will not cut me any slack at all and accommodation is clearly not in near sight-

Third day, slightly limping, I swoop into my former and future employers studio after another couple of useless appointments in flats -this time it was just plain unaffordable, but I thought I'd treat myself to look at some non stinky rooms...
at this point my feet are bloody from the new sneakers I bought (Nike, booooh), my chap stick exploded in my face from being all warm and mushy from going in and and out of the tube climate, and my spirits are pretty low and am feeling a tad in despair. Snief-
BUT I had a great chat with my future project manager/producer.
I even walked away with a raise which is always pretty fantastic.

After some ping-ponging on the start date, this is the new deal: I will be going to London in July and NOT April, which makes me pretty happy (once I got through the weird transitional part where you don't know if changes are for the better or not).

Summer in Amsterdam! Very good!
This also means I will be on the Dutch project another 2 months or so (am calculating my own slack of at least a month now) which means that there is some serious bootie kicking I need to be doing today...
I will report back after :)

fast update...

Some big stuff has been happening and I know I need to write about it more in detail at one point- but for now you'll have to do with:
went to New York for long weekend, came back engaged and beaming with love and happiness!

Then had to go off to Paris, after fighting nasty flu from plane airco, to fight nasty french 3D people ... am seeing friends every evening which is great and gives me strength!

Will try to give better update and some juicy details soon, but for now, gotta run!!!

out of the loop...

...I have been, the last week.
Teaching at the Filmacademy here in Amsterdam,
I was pretty much 'analog' the last few days!
Plus I got hit by a car on Thursday which was a shocker...
I am fine (apart from a few bumps and bruises)
and considering I rolled onto and off the front part of the car
that hit me at considerable speed, while I was on my bike
trying to cross the tram tracks, I was very, very lucky.
Even my bike survived! Unbelievable.

The week at the Academy was loads of fun!
I really enjoy teaching, it makes you go back and break down
the principles of your work and in the end you understand some
aspects about your job even better than before!
Kinda weird how that works :)

So, I am 'back', and I finally got round to do
this superhero test thing that friends were talking about...

better late than never ...

Your results:

You are Supergirl

Supergirl 87% Wonder Woman 77% The Flash 75% Superman 70% Green Lantern 70% Spider-Man 65% Iron Man 65% Robin 57% Catwoman 55% Hulk 50% Batman 40%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Frustrations with 'creatives'/'executives'?

Just came across a great post on John K.'s blog!
(the 'Ren & Stimpy' guy - to just name one of his shows)

If you also feel frustrated at the political BS that happens
in our creative business, read this and share your anger.

girls evening ...

... at Tamara's last Saturday, with Patricia and Mijke.
(did I spell that right?)
I had a blast! It was great fun hanging out, chatting,
sharing the latest shocking news, laughing and being silly :)



Today I am back at work, and bored as hell, wondering where,
oh where this production is going... but apparently there will
be some re-organizing and scheduling at a meeting tomorrow,
so I have faith... gotta keep believin'...

I also came across a woman today
who I'd like to refer to as RB (Rich Bitch).
Our first encounter was already so warm and friendly:
RB:'I'd like a café latte'
Me:'Eh, sorry, I'm not the coffee girl...
RB:'Oh' (eyes me up and down - iech! I hate that)
RB:'You look like one'

Gasp!
Excuse moi????
I mean... okay, I was running around in my oldest pair of jeans
and had taken off my shoes for maximum comfort at working space,
but having to take that from
miss 'armani-gucci-but I couldn't afford good taste'
was a mind-blower!
And what is she implying anyway?!
That coffee girls are low pitiful creatures???
(You should've seen her look)
I couldn't think of anything to answer back at that moment
(of course) so I just brushed it away with an elegant snort...
Today I see her overly tanned self again,
waltzing up and down the hallway in her bossy manner.
When I went to get myself some more tea, there she was,
at the coffee corner,
talking about something incredibly dumb and profane I am sure.

So I whisk by,
nevertheless giving her the 'pf- I remember you too bitch' look,
pour myself some nice steamin' tea, and am about to retreat
in the same nonchalant 'I ain't even lookin' at you again' way
when I crash into the slightly open door of the dishwasher, stumble,
and pour tea and myself all over the floor...

weekend over ...

let's try to look on the bright side, ey?

crazy wind!!!

almost got knocked off my bike by the extremely strong wind gusts that are whizzing through Amsterdam lately! Today seems to be the peak of wind craziness, and our office sounds like an old spooky castle with ghosts that rattle on their chains while the winds howl screaming up and down the corridors!
(well it's more the squeaky rattle of the lunch cart and probably our producers crumbling under the pressure of impossible deadlines... but still)

Pffff ...

still recovering...
Uploaded by in-ah

Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!

Have a good xmas and a mind-blasting new years eve, people :)
Uploaded by slugs

got tagged...?

Although not quite sure what this whole tagging business is about,
I guess I should tell you 5 things about me that you don't know...
that seems to be the custom once you've been tagged?

This might prove kinda difficult...or at the same time easy, not really knowing who 'you', dear reader, are! Are you a friend that knows a lot about me already or a total stranger who just happens to cross my blog?

I guess I could start by the last few things that recently happened or occurred to me, and thus revealing something about my character or self:

-Have been feeling nauseous all day, and apparently there is another flu (this time stomach flu) going around, and OF COURSE I get it too...
ergo: my immune system stinks

-I am allergic to egg (yolk), so besides the fact that they smell like nasty farts, they give me bowel cramps, and OF COURSE there is boiled egg all over the place today at lunch...
ergo: in-ah no like stinky eggs

- hm, am thinking that new readers might get impression that I stink... which shows that I am worried about other people's opinions about me, because OF COURSE I want everyone to think I am cool and great and whatnot...
ergo: insecurity and strange need to please people

- am terrible when it comes to feeling left out... especially concerning friends, which comes from wanting close bonds with people, and wanting to be important to them, and wanting them to want me to be around at all times because without me it's only half the fun OF COURSE...
ergo: well, that's just me regressing back to childhood and wanting to be the center of interest and attention - I am working on it...

- mostly I try to be happy and positive about things in life... to be zen and balanced and all that 'want to be a better person' stuff, but at the same time I embrace cynicism and love to paint black pictures of my feelings, telling myself that I need no one, because OF COURSE no one needs me...
ergo: am full of contradictions (slightly borderline even? I guess when I am stressed out its worse)

Well, there you go!
A micro slice of the huge dysfunctional cake that makes me ;)

Amateur - Lasse Gjertsen

Just brilliant...

chicken anyone?

am not making much sense today myself, so this fits just fine...
am still recovering from my major birthday party on saturday that went on until 6 am and left me kinda brain dead ;)

Weird Al Yankovic

Perfect for the holiday season where we all pig out a little ;)

Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Wonderfully sad song. I love it.